Two-thirds of a survey said that it was acceptable to lie to protect someone’s feelings. It is suggested that this kind of lie is not only acceptable but necessary! So, thoughtful, decent, good people will lie as a consideration of others!
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A recent Associated Press article dealing with lying is a reflection of our values or maybe more correctly our non-values. Kids want cookies but mom says, “There are no more cookies,” however, most people will agree that that is a “lie.” Mom prefers to lie rather than say, “You kids have had enough cookies. Go outside to play.” It is incredulous that a parent would choose lying rather than simply telling the truth even if it the children. If it does anger them, then that should be dealt with as well.
One mom told her 4-year-old son that there were no more cartoons on television and justified it by saying, “We couldn’t have the TV on all day. It’s the easy trap of a lie. It’s easier than telling the truth.” I pity a child with a mother like that! Lying is easier than telling the truth! What does “easy” have to do with it? Why not say to your child (to whom you are responsible for developing his character), “You have watched enough television. You may watch more tomorrow—if you are obedient.” If he throws a fit, cries, whines, then his rear end should be swatted three or four times or until he becomes calm and obedient.
Another scenario is telling a date that something has come up instead of telling the truth: “I just don’t feel like going out tonight.” Such lying also indicates a person’s lack of confidence. They are so unsure of their relationship that they can’t plead, “I just don’t feel like going out.” Incredible.
Two-thirds of a survey said that it was acceptable to lie to protect someone’s feelings. It is suggested that this kind of lie is not only acceptable but necessary! So, thoughtful, decent, good people will lie as a consideration of others!
During situations where I was a guest speaker, proud parents have handed me their infant child (outstanding for homeliness!) and expect, almost demand a positive response. A few times I have responded (with enthusiasm) “Well, that is some baby!” I’m not sure but I think that is acceptable after all, my statement is truthful! However, I will not argue if I am accused of being disingenuous, devious, or even dishonest.
One article suggested that if a wife tries on a dress and asks her husband, “Does this dress make me look fat?” that is a definite signal to lie: “No, dear the dress looks wonderful on you.” What kind of relationship is that when a husband is so fearful that he must lie to satisfy his wife? What kind of wife would be distressed or angry if her husband said, “Yes, dear, that dress is not for you. You are not fat.” After all, the wife wanted her husband’s opinion about the dress. Would she prefer to wear a dress that does not suit her?
The Bible clearly commands us not to lie. In fact, murder, adultery, and thievery precede the command not to be a false witness. That doesn’t seem to bother most people. They would rather commend themselves to the crowd by lying without concern at offending a holy God!
Most parents lie to their children for years about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy! “But why spoil Christmas and Easter for our children. After all, they are children only once.” Well, it is a matter of Truth. Christmas is about Christ, not toys, trees, tinsel, etc. Easter is about the Son of God who died for our sins and rose from the dead! It is incredible that men have brought an “Easter Bunny” into the equation.
It would not be a tragedy if we did not participate in the worldly celebration of Christmas and Easter. Our children would not be warped if we passed on those days and emphasized the important Biblical significance. However, if you insist on making a “big deal” out of those times, then at least be honest with the children. Let them know that “Daddy is Santa Claus.” With some children it is devastating when they finally discover the truth: Mom and Dad are liars. Hopefully you will not hear them say, “Liar, liar, pants on fire.” And you have often told them to tell the truth and scolded them for lying!
Our daughter Jennifer at three years of age asked: “Mommy, is there a real live Santa Claus man in this whole world of ours?” The precocious child left no wiggle room so she was told that Santa was a fun, make-believe person. That truthfulness did not destroy her and it won’t destroy your children either.